I’m not often haunted,
But when I am
They visit together.
All at once,
My heartbreaks.

My sin and them,
My dead, my dying,
My face trying to see me.
My wasted time and stolen eyes.

Doubt like acid rain.
Fear like putrid pain.
A dull, soft stain.

My heart
Not wasted,
But unkept.



Siemens Soldiers

Below, green and brown.
Dry and warm and lovely.
Sage brush, pink rocks.
Above, grey, deep blue, and every shade between.
Sheets of rain in the distance
Then there they are
Twixt earth and heaven
Encouraging earth
Holding back heaven
On the hill to the left.
Rank upon rank upon rank
Standing straight and tall
Grounded in flight
Turning turning turning
Pushing the world into better days
Hopeful and proud
Sure of a future full of green.

It Will Be, Just as I AM

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

It was a night for eternity.

We were a family; whole people because the Spirit was working and we filled in each other’s gaps. We were sirens and the sea threw itself at us.

Joy Unspeakable and Full of Glory.

The sky would not give up her stars so we made our own and wondered at the strength of light and love.

God is with us, in us, through us.

We laughed and ached and delighted in the image of God on every man. The ache was beauty, but also pain. We weren’t there yet. The night ended. The fire died. Cold descended with the heavy dew. But it won’t always. It won’t forever.

For there is coming a day and it will be, just as I AM.



I AM, yeah, but Who?

I thought I knew God. Sure, you can never fully know Him, but that’s the beauty of life, right? You get to keep digging deeper into His beauty and kindness and goodness. But over the last months I’ve been getting this sneaking suspicion that I don’t know God at all. I only know His Shadow. Then I read Leviticus and I realized I didn’t really know who my God is. Then something bad happened to someone good who shouldn’t ever have to deal with another bad thing ever again. And then I really realized. Who could this God possibly be?

The same God who met me and cradled me and carried me in the darkest time of my life turned a stony face to a child of His who sought His love. The same God who was served by prostitutes and sat with sinners said that no Levite with any physical defect could serve in His tabernacle. I mean really God? You let men with fallen sinful hearts serve in Your sanctuary, but no, a limp is too much, that’s where You draw the line? The same God who said He is not willing that any should perish sent thousands of innocent Egyptian boys to an untimely death. The same God who showers me with better gifts than the purest prophet ever deserved takes and takes and takes from faces who are genuinely turned towards Him.

I know it’s not a new question, but I didn’t know it was my question.

I don’t want to see a flat God. But my capacity for knowing and understanding is so insufficient.


Photo via Pinterest
I wake up in the morning and remember You.
You give me a breath and I roll out of bed
I look to the sky and You’re singing me a song
A Million tiny notes from heaven drift past my window
They soften the whole world in great white heaps
I can’t fathom the mass and the detail
I try to remember Your height, but it’s too high
I try to think on Your character, but it’s too vast
I try to see Your face, but it’s too beautiful
You’re that calm, vital, solid feeling of joy in my stomach
It could burst out and destroy me, but it just stays
Strong, Alive, Ever-Changing, Ever-Same

Writing Exercise | Day 7

Today I noticed that a lot of the people I like the most laugh a lot. I think I don’t laugh enough. Sometimes I’m too tired or I think the joke is too lame or that the humor isn’t smart enough. But the funny thing is, is that when I put those things aside and just laugh, if only for the sake of the other person, I feel better and I laugh easier. I feel more connected to the people around me and I’m more relaxed and focused on them instead of me. There’s no good reason not to laugh, except for silly ones stemming from pride or selfishness. So laugh easily and often, it might make your world a little bit of a better place. 
(I know there should be a cautionary clause about inappropriate jokes, jokes that poke fun at people in a hurtful way etc, but I think we all know that already.)