Moving Forward

Leaving is hard. Saying goodbye is hard. But what a gift to leave beloved. What a gift to move forward into hope, curiosity, brightness.

God is so kind to take us out of dark places into a gentle pinky-blue dawn. Dawn that, with shadowy certainty, shows us the next step, though perhaps not the next ten.

Today I’m moving across the country to finish my degree at Sattler College in Boston, MA. 12-year-old me is stoked out of her mind to be going to school in Boston—a city that was not only the birthplace of America, but is also home to the most colleges of any city in America including Harvard, one of those far off, magical temples of education that I dreamt about as a child. 23-year-old me is enjoying the magic, but is a little more aware of the risks and costs. I’ll be pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Biblical and Religious Studies and because of my work at Faith Builder’s I should be able to earn my degree in 3 years.

I’m so excited about the opportunity to study. I’m so excited about living in a culturally rich city like Boston. I’m nervous, but mostly excited about learning Biblical Greek and Hebrew. I’m excited about expanding my understanding of the Kingdom of God and deepening my knowledge and familiarity with His word. I’m not excited about missing three years of weddings and funerals, sermons and Sunday School, MCC relief sales and Walnut Valley Festivals. I’m not excited about missing Sunday dinners, Friday night hang outs, daily family life, and all the million other things that make Hutchinson, Kansas home and wonderful.

I feel a bit like a misty-eyed fawn wobbling out of the woods into a dewy field just before sunrise. Uncertain of the way, sure of direction. Expectant of a new day, quite ignorant of how it will come.